Wednesday, December 10, 2014

A Holiday Letter to Cancer

Undear Cancer,
How dare you show up on my doorstep December 1.  You were not invited into my life.  You forced me to say the three toughest words to the three toughest kids I know--Jesse, Anna and Luke--
"I have cancer." They have been through so much this past year or so with "other tumors" and they still stand strong--but they did not NEED or WANT you on our doorstep.    

Well, guess what, Cancer.  If you think you are tough--I am tougher.  I am prepared to fight and win.  I refuse to lose. I have more faith than fear.  I am surrounded by people and doctors that will help me through this.  You don't stand a chance, Undear Cancer.  You will leave me like a bad dog with its DNA-mutated tail between its legs, cowering.

Show me what you've got, Undear Cancer--because I have more.  My spirits are up, my Christmas tree is up--and most important--I am up to kicking your mutated **#@$###***?!!!!!

So, there you are, Undear Cancer.  Your holidays WILL NOT be merry and bright.  You WILL NOT be decking my halls.  Your HO! HO! HO! will GO! GO! GO!  And furthermore, you will not be invited into the homes of anyone else I care about.  Since you showed up on my pathology report, my sister and  one of my friends had their mammograms, one friend has hers scheduled for this Friday, and another WILL BE calling to schedule today (STACY!).
 I am angry at you, Undear Cancer, and one of the best ways for me to beat you is to warn others about you.  You'd better accept the fact that you are going to be one lonely mutated cell, cowering on doorsteps, BUT NOT GETTING IN.

So have yourself a very unmerry Christmas, Undear Cancer.  My Christmas will be different this year because of you--but it's still going to happen in my home.  You'd better get used to the fact that you WILL TAKE NOTHING of importance from me.


P.S.  It's true what they say about you--YOU SUCK!!!!!!